Justin at In My Write Mind is hosting a blogfest today.
Where: In My Write Mind blog, and your own
Objective: Post your 500-1000 word hook and critique other hooks posted by participants
Suggestive topics to consider when critiquing:
- Does the character have a personality I can fall into easily? This includes any dialogue exchanged.
- Is the world around them set up to compliment the character as they're introduced?
- Are there secondary characters to assist with the hook?
- Lastly, would I read more?
I'm looking forward to reading everyone's contribution and welcome any comments on mine. Below is the first 500ish words from my work in progress Control (which I hope to have finished by the date this posts).
She took a sip of her sparkling wine and sighed. Closing her eyes, she let herself enjoy the simple, physical delight in the way the bubbles tickled her tongue, the back of her throat. She needed this time for herself. To feel. To do. For once not to carry the burden of power or have everyone watching and weighing each action.
Tonight she was no one special. Just another mage in a city full of all walks of life. To any onlooker, she would appear as a simple human woman looking to turn off her brain for a few hours. She took another sip. Maybe she should drink something stronger.
The only way to escape her own mind was to be someone else. Instead of her usual elegant and respectable style, she put her body on display in the usual way that women do to get attention. Judging by the drink sent her way, she had done just that.
She remembered to let the smile reach her eyes as she nodded her thanks and took a sip. Sighing, she let the amber liquid roll across her tongue, enjoying the flavor, the warmth. It was too bad the drink had come with the attention of the muscular human male approaching.
He leaned against the bar, cutting into her personal space. “You looked like the type of woman who would appreciate aged port.”
“Do I?” She took another sip and avoided his eyes. It was always disappointing to see the dullness of spirit that so often accompanied attractive men. “And what does that type of woman generally look like?”
She smiled over the rim of her goblet. The man certainly did have nice arms. He would probably be an excellent companion tonight if sexual satisfaction were something that would be soothing. It certainly seemed to be something people enjoyed. She just was not one of those people.
Taking another sip she realized the young man was still talking.
“I prefer Dwarven Stout myself, but beautiful women have more refined taste. I’d bet you could probably teach me a thing or two.”
Ah, he was answering her question, and being suggestive.
“Teach you? About stout, women, or taste?”
He leaned closer, invading her space further. In any other setting she would assume he was trying to intimidate, to control the encounter by forcing her to retreat. But here in the Tavern at the Edge of the World, he was probably trying to create the illusion of intimacy – that is, if he thought about his actions at all.
He abruptly stopped whispering and straightened up, his face blank. She did not have to turn to feel the power pulsing behind her. She had another companion.
He leaned low, closer than the young buck had been. “He ordered the port because it was the special tonight.”
She smiled at the information. “Of course.” She whispered in response.
“I am surprised a woman of your power would waste her time with a talking muscle like that.”
His breath was harsh against her ear, sending a chill down her spine. Was she afraid? How exciting.
Looking forward to your comments!