How Hot is Too Hot?

I recently made a friend uncomfortable. She's had no trouble reading my other writing (which R rated for sexual content) but Mind, Body, and Spirit was just too much. Another friend downright refused to read it because she didn't want to read it at all.

I was surprised. I've never gotten this reception on my general market romance. And, though this is WoW influenced, ultimately it is fantasy and should not be prohibitive to non-WoW players. And the sex, well, it's more toward erotic than a standard romance, but the sex is still part of the story and emotional arc of the main characters.

Before I was concerned I had not gone far enough to pass into the realm of erotica. After all, mainstream romance no longer stops when the lights go out (no, it just becomes a more sensual experience because sight is not a factor). So I amped things up -- too much apparently. I mean, is it bad that there's an elf orgy going on in one of the rooms they have to pass through? And why would it matter if the main character gets mind controlled, driving her insane with a sexual need that only the tank can assuage? Is that too much?

It is for my alpha readers, which is a shame. Especially considering that it is difficult for me to objectively review and revise these scenes because they are, well, hot.  Let's just hope that when I publish, my readers are also so into the moment that they don't notice the problems that I'm sure exist.